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Live at Frogville

by Stephanie Hatfield

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1.
I had this dream about dying, my body couldn’t move suddenly I found I couldn’t dart across the yard, taking on a million things, readying for friends The project that I began fell loose from my hand, incomplete to the ground The song that was playing on the radio, I’d never know exactly how it ends A thousand moments spent with ease Our strength fell with the leaves I never saw us grow that old But that’s the story you always told I had a dream You finally came back here for me Hang your mourning head Talking to the dead instead of me Years that were made of moments of star-crossed love we desperately tried to stop time Fingers laced in the sand rocks glowing in our hands as the rain found its way down Anything to capture our new found rapture was never to be mine Take a photo, write a song, you know it won’t be long ‘fore all of this will be gone A thousand moments spent with ease Our strength fell with the leaves I never saw us grow that old But that’s the story you always told I had a dream You finally came back here for me Hang your mourning head Talking to the dead instead of me I had a dream You finally came back here for me Hang your mourning head Talking to the dead instead of me Talking to the dead instead of me
2.
You have blood on your face so I’m confused I look down, it’s all over you hands and shoes I hardly know how to react or what to do A flood of pain seems to come over you I barely know you but I pull you in Holding you gently as I can And I’ll cry so you don’t have to I’ll cry so you don’t have to The warmest room in this house still seems cold It’s always the memories make me feel old Never have enough time to think that I’m alone I’m finally reaping the silence I’ve sown I barely know you but I pull you in Holding you gently as I can And I’ll cry so you don’t have to I’ll cry so you don’t have to Last night I dreamed my little boy drown at sea You were sent to my door to question me All I could do was hold myself and breathe You’ll find a reason he died I’ll never see You barely know me, but you pull me in Holding me gently as you can And I’ll cry so you don’t have to And I’ll cry so you don’t have to You barely know me, but you pull me in Holding me gently as you can And you'll cry so I don't have to And you'll cry so I don't have to
3.
Standing in the kitchen, friends and family running round He stares at me intently, says “I can’t stand what I’ve found” This is not just a sincere exchange over the counter, over wine What he says throws all the covers off what I’ve been doing all this time All this time All this time All this time Had I known, should I know, what do I say, what will I do Cause what he says somehow is more real than any part of me and you I see through him like a winter’s lake, revealing all its bottom lying stones And if I do I may dive into a watery grave I once foretold All this time All this time All this time So I walk, I run, I hide in a bathroom down the hall Sink to my knees and hold my head as if somehow I can stop the fall He was gone and so I carried on, but I left most of me behind With this confession I can see it now, my life if I could just rewind All this time All this time All this time
4.
Don’t lead me in or you’ll see me cry Can’t be the kind to turn a blind eye When I saw them lying on the frozen ground Scraps of fabric and scarves they had found I can’t pretend. No, I can’t forget Turn around the bend Can’t shield my eyes, can’t tell the same old lies No one will die A frail towhead girl with no front teeth No heat tonight, can I take her with me She runs away when I turn around Now I’m the one lost in her town I can’t pretend. No, I can’t forget Turn around the bend Can’t shield my eyes, can’t tell the same old lies No one will die The more I see the more I have to close my eyes I know I’ll find her one child at a time Hold her tight as she wails and screams Let her beat her broken heart out on me I can’t pretend. No, I can’t forget Turn around the bend Can’t shield my eyes, can’t tell the same old lies No one will die I can’t pretend. No, I can’t forget Turn around the bend Can’t shield my eyes, can’t tell the same old lies No one will die
5.
Last night you came home Thinking you were coming home to me Last night you came down Down fell the last illusion I would never leave What you heard when you got here Was much more than you could stand You yell at me like it’s my fault That this love ran right through my hands Last night you came home Thinking you were coming home to me Last night you came down Down fell the last illusion I would never leave Your anger runs into your sorrow Your sorrow jumps up from the night Changing face just like the frost on earth You come down hard and ready for a fight Last night you came home Thinking you were coming home to me Last night you came down Down fell the last illusion I would never leave Somewhere lost in a December sky Are things I feel but cannot see Life outside these tangled arguments Of why and what and how you really need Last night you came home Thinking you were coming home to me Last night you came down Down fell the last illusion I would never leave
6.
Can’t hear a thing over the wind But I still walk past that broken fence to let you in Trailing my hand over what time just couldn’t mend Where was I when everything came to an end? When I come back home Why do you follow me down this broken road? Throw your head back and look to the star rich sky I wrap my limbs around you, like our last goodbye Can’t tell when the animals came last When they tore through all we left when leaving so fast Pieces strewn to the corners now just remnants of our past How could we leave everything for which we had asked? When I come back home Why do you follow me down this broken road? Throw your head back and look to the star rich sky I wrap my limbs around you, like our last goodbye Guess the trees were stronger than the rest Pulled down all but the chimney under which we slept the best Precious nights spent with blankets pulled up around our chest We believed that nothing could destroy our perfectness When I come back home Why do you follow me down this broken road? Throw your head back and look to the star rich sky I wrap my limbs around you, like our last goodbye The voice I heard that night Sounded exactly like mine Hung in the air like a death Carried down the road that led, straight to our home When I come back home Why do you follow me down this broken road?
7.
The fall day awakes her, a cool bright air and a crow’s caw Pulls herself out of spirit dreams of fairies, songs and falls It was him again on the tips of her fingers, tantalizing her skin Now the truth of her passion must be buried, allowing her day to begin The color of her coffee reminds her how his eyes find her own He’d sing to her mapping the mystic lives they both have known But the thoughts of this are hidden under her wings, close and low Lest though out her day in the world, someone else might know How she loves Because how she loves is more than she can fill without the wind Because how she loves is lifting her above that promise again All the joys that the season has to offer will be left at her feet They can’t pull her eyes from the one soul she is longing to see When his hand reached out to hers, she took two steps at a time Demanding a truth so real that the innocence was left so far behind How she loves Because how she loves is more than she can fill without the wind Because how she loves is lifting her above that promise again Against his mouth, against her skin Is a close as she’ll begin To understand he’s just a man, he’s just a man The fall day awakes her, a cool bright air and a crow’s caw Pulls herself out of spirit dreams of fairies, songs and falls
8.
Sugar in my coffee, such a rare delicious treat Crow is on the fence calling for someone to meet An empty page demands a verse from which to feed Here I sit, I’ve never been so out of touch with me I can ride the high tide of my pain I can weather the most blinding of rains But I can never seem to find Peace with what I’ve left behind Spring has come too early, all the apricots in bloom Seems hard to enjoy a season come too soon A few more lines I’ll try to bleed from this open wound So little life, so little time to try to prove I can ride the high tide of my pain I can weather the most blinding of rains But I can never seem to find Peace with what I’ve left behind Behind, it seems You’re my illusion Living a dream Only leaves confusion Sometimes it seems like this was all just a joke Where would I be, where else would I go Having a choice is just a trap to want a little more I’ll never have, I’ll never know what I could never hold I can ride the high tide of my pain I can weather the most blinding of rains But I can never seem to find Peace with what I’ve left behind
9.
She eats you up in a voice that kills But you don’t think you think about her still The dreams you want are the ones that scare But these are small things in the face of a dare He said how long I’ve waited for this moment with you again To tell you under this cool moon in this hard, hard wind It was never the same, when you weren’t there I had Nothing tangible left, I could go nowhere It was never the same, couldn’t breathe couldn’t bear Being the one you had left, I could go nowhere Where you weren’t lost from You weren’t lost from me Wasn’t it true that she knew all you said Was meant for someone else in someone else’s bed When do the years catch up with what we still can touch You lost another bright one feeling less too much He said how long I’ve waited for this moment with you again To tell you under this cool moon in this hard, hard wind It was never the same, when you weren’t there I had Nothing tangible left, I could go nowhere It was never the same, couldn’t breathe couldn’t bear Being the one you had left, I could go nowhere It was never the same, when you weren’t there I had Nothing tangible left, I could go nowhere It was never the same, couldn’t breathe couldn’t bear Being the one you had left, I could go nowhere Where you weren’t lost from You weren’t lost from me
10.
Running under a threatening sky, waiting for a rain I recall how it seems that I made a fool of myself again Maybe I expose it all to burn up in flames Cause everything that came before has always done the same If you can hear my voice under yours I’ll have nothing left to force If you can wrap your arms, wrap your arms around me now If you can wrap your arms, wrap your arms around me now This conversation cuts like a knife through already heavy air I beg myself ‘don’t walk out the door’ cause surely I still care As I sit on our living room floor, I’m frozen in my gaze Could I admit my unhappiness in wave after wave If you can hear my voice under yours I’ll have nothing left to force If you can wrap your arms, wrap your arms around me now If you can wrap your arms, wrap your arms around me now For the smallest time I allowed myself not to be this version of me Widen my eyes to see beyond when the wind would whirl and scream The storm that I had baited on was full of my own fears Now I watch them fall, letting the rain drum distance in my ears If you can hear my voice under yours I’ll have nothing left to force If you can wrap your arms, wrap your arms around me now If you can wrap your arms, wrap your arms around me now If you can wrap your arms, wrap your arms around me now If you can wrap your arms, wrap your arms around me now

about

The sky over the mountains was lit up with lightning, and the hill overlooking the ancient city of Santa Fe was engulfed in melancholic guitars & impassioned vocals. Recorded Live at Frogville Studio during an intimate studio concert, September 30th, 2017

credits

released March 14, 2018

Stephanie Hatfield - Voice & Acoustic Guitar
Bill Palmer - Electric Guitar
R. Bruce Phillips - Keys
Noah Baumeister - Bass
Matthew Tobias - Drums

Recorded by Bill Palmer
Additional Engineering by Quanah Palmer & Bella Palmer
Photo by Hubert Kang

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Stephanie Hatfield Santa Fe, New Mexico

Although originally from the Detroit area, this eclectic singer hails from a Kentucky hillbilly heritage with a rich poetic history. Her music embodies the emotional release of having your heart ripped apart and lovingly put back together again, but it’s the raw power of Hatfield’s expansive voice that makes her the perfect soundtrack for an adrenaline junkie who craves the rush. ... more

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